Thomas Kinkade to the Rescue

BI'75 recently sent me this card. We proceeded to send them to everyone we know. All this light sharing inspired me to ask BI'75 she would give me $100 to ask a National Gallery docent where the Thomas Kinkades were. She said she would give me $10 and I was willing to do it for that price but I didn't see any docents. Then I decided that I wanted to go to a NGA event and ask Rusty Powell in front of DC's art elite where the Thomas Kinkade room was. This brought up the question "What is the difference between a performance and a dare?" The answer - very little. Later that day, while grocery shopping, I came across a display of Glade candles decorated with TK's "art". Naturally, I had to buy one for my dad - I chose the French Vanilla with a snowy, city scene. Today I came home to the sickly-sweet smell of fake vanilla. Someone was burning the TK candle! Apparently a stuffed cabbage experiment had gone wrong and only Thomas could help. Now our house smells like an Irish whorehouse.