BEST. KANSAS. COVER. EVER.

This little girl rocks so hard.

Yo' Mama

A real-life example of how quickly a conversation with a toddler can degenerate:

3YO:	[My cousins] call Mommy zia!
e:	Do you know why they call her that?
3YO:	They...they don’t know her name!
e:	(Hiding laughter) Well, your mommy is Italian and zia is Italian for aunty. Like how Dora calls her aunty tia in Spanish.
3YO:	Your mommy's Italian!

I didn't realize that they taught the dozens in pre-school, but I suppose it's never to early to learn quality yo' mama jokes.

I’m Back Baby!

It’s been 159 days since I posted last. I could come up with a multitude of excuses, but they all boil down to one essential theme—laziness. All I can do is fervently promise to try and do better. In case anyone is interested, here is what I’ve been up to:

• Lost over 20 pounds (and look pretty f***ing fantastic, if I do say so myself)
• Become quite vain and fashion-obsessed since losing said 20 pounds, as I can now fit into clothes that aren’t from the plus-size section
• Got a promotion to Senior Manager [of what I do]
• Got a smartphone (along with promotion) and have become one of those horrible people who check their e-mail 24/7
• Saw Jim Gaffigan live; peed in pants
• Become an “aunty” to the Delicious Darwin Elvis (11/19/2007, 7lbs/12oz, 19") and the Lovely Lucie Lake (1/22/2008, 8lbs/2oz, 21”)
• Arranged a lovely adult New Year’s Eve dinner at Bistro d’Oc (that later degenerated into childish drunkenness at the Capitol Lounge)
• Re-read the Complete Novels of Jane Austen
• Become obsessed with Georgette Heyer
• Switched my skincare regimen from $$$ to ¢, resulting in better skin and more money in my wallet
• Listened to Juno soundtrack approximately 3,439 times

I’m sure I’ve done lots of other fascinating stuff, but can't think of it now. Am I forgiven now?