Actual conversation with my mother:
Mom: (while rubbing her lower abdomen) Do you ever get crabs?
Me: Cramps?
Mom: No, crabs.
Me: Crabs are pubic lice.
Mom: Really? I thought crabs was diarrhea.
Me: No, it's pubic lice.
Mom: (giggles)
Me: I hope you haven't been telling people you have crabs.
Mom: No, no. Anyway, I was wondering if you had diarrhea from lunch.
Me: Nope, no diarrhea. Besides, we had different things.
Mom: Well, we ate at the same place.
Me: I don't think they sprinkle diarrhea powder on the food at Au Bon Pain.
And this is the woman who taught me about the birds and the bees.
Edited...because, unlike all the folks who have written "Pubic Defender" in their resumes, I wrote "public" instead of "pubic".
Friday, August 12, 2005
STDs & You
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5 comments:
I think those kind of lice are private(s) lice not public lice.
Public lice are the kind that want you to buy their worthless stuff.
Nob Public, PUBIC - I got it!
NO WAIT! I don't mean I got pubic lice! I mean I 'got' it...
...nevermind.
I never got the 'Birds and Bees' talk from anyone in my family - just an attempt from my dad the night before my wedding to recommend using a 'rubber'.
Looks like I make the opposite of faux pas and wrote "public" instead of "pubic"...what would Frued say?
Spoomonger - one would think that your father would have suggested this long before your wedding.
Well, e, that's my dad for you. I knew everything he said and more, but - believe it or not - my wife and I really were still virgins until our wedding night.
ps.. I and I was 35 at the time. That's a LOOOOOOONG time to wait!!
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