To quote College Humor, "the most accurate impression of singing Irishmen ever performed." In fact, I think I heard them singing at Clyde's yesterday.

Faster, Faster, Count!

The Great Escape of 2008

My Uncle Jeff (79) has debilitating Parkinsons. He cannot walk unassisted for even one step. A recent conversation that I had with him went like this:

E: How are you, Uncle Jeff?
J: I can't drive anywhere.
E: Did they take your car away?
J: They took my truck.
E: Well, Aunt Sarah will drive you anywhere that you want to go.
J: There's nowhere that I want to go.

I guess that got him thinking, "Or is there?" because on Wednesday, he made a break for it! He told Sarah that he wanted to sit on the back patio, so she put his coat and hat on him and helped him out there. She went back inside to do some housework, and when she went to check on him, HE WAS IN THE CAR. She ran up to the car, and when he saw her coming, HE LOCKED THE DOORS AND TOOK OFF.

He drove to the drugstore where he likes to have lunch and to the post office and back home again.

View Escape Route

I don't know if it was premeditated or if he just saw a window of opportunity. All I could imagine was a low-speed chase down West Main Street with a sheriff car tailing Uncle Jeff at 5 mph. I couldn't call Aunt Sarah for a full day because I knew I would crack up laughing. Thankfully, no one was injured during this crime spree. You can be sure that Aunt Sarah will be hiding the car keys from now on.