No Underpants

Contrary to popular (or maybe just my) belief, the Red Cross does not need underpants. Or pajamas or canned food or any other items. They just need our moola and we should give it to them. Click on the banner to the right to help out.

Is It Wrong...

...that I have been craving pralines all day?

STDs & You

Actual conversation with my mother:

Mom: (while rubbing her lower abdomen) Do you ever get crabs?
Me: Cramps?
Mom: No, crabs.
Me: Crabs are pubic lice.
Mom: Really? I thought crabs was diarrhea.
Me: No, it's pubic lice.
Mom: (giggles)
Me: I hope you haven't been telling people you have crabs.
Mom: No, no. Anyway, I was wondering if you had diarrhea from lunch.
Me: Nope, no diarrhea. Besides, we had different things.
Mom: Well, we ate at the same place.
Me: I don't think they sprinkle diarrhea powder on the food at Au Bon Pain.

And this is the woman who taught me about the birds and the bees.

Edited...because, unlike all the folks who have written "Pubic Defender" in their resumes, I wrote "public" instead of "pubic".

Tainted Blog

The following "comment" has appeared on a recent entry:

Anonymous said...
I like a good blog when I see one. I also have a dental plan blog for others to learn more about dental plan. Stop on by!

Another reason to hate the dentist.

By The Skin of Her Teeth

This is a connection I think I would be glad to miss.

Then I'm NOT Sorry

At Pentagon City this afternoon, while BI'75 was picking out new glasses, I bought myself some pretzel sticks and settled on the bench outside of Lenscrafters to wait for her. When I sat down, I did so with more force than I intended. I glanced at the other person sitting on the bench to find that she was glaring at me with unbridled hostility.

"Sorry," I smiled.
"What are you sorry about," she replied, still staring at me.
"I'm sorry I shook the bench so hard."
"You don't need to be sorry about that. I'm done taking sorry as an excuse for everything. People say they are sorry all the time but that is just some bullshit."

And she gathered her belongings and stalked off.