'Ello, That's Right Clean, In'it?

Continuing the theme of unbelievable spokespeople: Are we supposed to believe the British cleaner than we? The don't even have showers!

*For those who haven't had the pleasure, Greased Lighting has been playing a series of ads with a British mum using the cleaning product. Her straight-laced British husband comes upon her cleaning and wants to do her because her kitchen is so clean.

Brand Spankin' New Energy Source!

Does the government think we have amnesia? How could we forget dead canaries, black lung and trapped miners? Hell, there are twelve coal miners trapped in China right now! And, is this really the best theme song for coal use?

Some people say a man is made outta' mud
A poor man's made outta' muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones
A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
I picked up my shovel and I walked to the mine
I loaded sixteen tons of number 9 coal
And the store boss said "Well, a-bless my soul"

I was born one mornin', it was drizzlin' rain
Fightin' and trouble are my middle name
I was raised in the canebrake by an ol' mama lion
Cain't no-a high-toned woman make me walk the line

If you see me comin', better step aside
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died
One fist of iron, the other of steel
If the right one don't a-get you, then the left one will

Were the rights to Loretta Lynn's Coal Miner Daughter not for sale?

Tricky Tricky

This was a trick question. The real answer is:

You are a shopaholic and bought all four.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People because of my "business enhancement tip" and "new professional endeavors". Bleachy-Haired Honky Bitch because I read a review that said she was the female David Sedaris and how can you pass that up? The Habit: A History of the Clothing of Catholic Nuns because of my Catholic upbringing, fear of nuns in habit and interest in the history of fashion. And Y: The Last Man Volume 5: Ring of Truth (not because I am a "scavian") because graphic novels are the new literature and this series rocks.

You Think You Know Me?

Which of the following books did I just buy?

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Bleachy-Haired Honky Bitch
The Habit: A History of the Clothing of Catholic Nuns
Y: The Last Man Volume 5: Ring of Truth

Please to comment...

Some Guy Named Earley

The new link under "Other People" is to my cousin Tim's new blog Flashcards for the Hermeneutically Aggressive. Some might notice that, on his profile, Tim spells his surname Earley. I would like to take this moment to point out that Tim is not a distant relative; he is my first cousin. Tim's father is my father's younger brother. Here is a list of my father and his brothers' surnames:

Jack Early
Jeff Earley
Jim Early (my dad)
Jerry Earley

We can talk about the J theme another day.

Notice the even split between the LYs and LEYs, as we are respectively called. If you were to ask my father why two of his brothers insist on the extra E, his response is always "They don't know how to spell." If you push him, though, you will get a more plausible explanation. I come from a family of jokers and liars and this explanation has been attributed to the King of them all, Uncle Jack, and it's veracity has never been confirmed.

My father was born an Earley in 1931. In 1937, President Roosevelt appointed a man named Stephen Early as his press secretary. We may or may not be distantly related; there are so few Early/Earley's in both Ireland and America that we are probably all cousins of some kind. As a Southerner and a victim of the depression, my grandfather was a huge supporter of Roosevelt and changed the spelling of our last name to Early. My father went through school spelling his name Early but when he joined the army as James Early and was asked for his birth certificate, the one he presented said he was James Earley and Uncle Sam was not amused. My father wrote his sister Mary Nell (not listed above as she is no longer an Early or an Earley) and asked her to get him a new birth certificate that said Early and, since their cousin worked in the county records office, this was not a problem. Dad really could have gone Earley at this point but he thought Early makes more sense and, frankly, so do I.

The name Early in Ireland is derived from the native Gaelic O'Maolmhoicheirghe. The name translates from Gaelic as 'early rising'. Earley smacks of Anglicization. The extra E is insult upon injury. And that's just not how you spell Early!

We're Free! We Can Do Anything We Want!

Apparently you need an advanced degree in reading knowledge bases to set up a wireless network. Unfortunately, I dropped out of college before dial-up was even common place but I seem to have managed this and am now blogging from the comfort of my bedroom while watching "Diary of an Affair" on the Style Network (Sidebar: What a terrible show. They should stick with "How Do I Look" and "The Look for Less")

So now that I have this incredible freedom of blogging on any floor of the house, I find that I don't have much to say. I could wax poetical about the, not one, but two pairs of shoes that I found today. I could whine about the mysterious demagnetization of the SmarTrip card that I've used for six years without incident. I could write even more on the absolute crappiness that is "Diary of an Affair" (really must change channel). I could talk about how Bo Bice's unprecedented choice of singing a capella in the finals was a stroke of genius (and admit to voting for him several times). I could write an ode to my new Motorola RAZR.

OK, so I have lots to say. I just haven't been able to crystallize all my thoughts with ease lately. I'm dying for a three-day weekend. It's a looooooong stretch between Good Friday and Memorial Day.

I Got Nothing

Nada. Zip. Blippity blop blip. I'm very boring this week. Maybe I'm boring every week. I'm constantly cycling - sleep, work, drink, TV, and sleep again. I need some excitement. Who has some excitement for me?

Did You Know...

...that there are leap seconds?

If I Were A Rich Man

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man